How secret keeping starts in a person's life

People often seek secrecy because they experience hostility or disapproval. This process usually starts in childhood. Some children (ages 8 to 14 approx) withdraw to a safe place all their own in order to escape a hostile/traumatic/neglectful environment.

When this happens, Developmental Deficits occur. See chapter 6, pages 91-94 in Secret Keeping for more on this subject.

Secrecy Provides

• Isolation that helps them COPE
• Security that offers them CONTROL
• Power that makes up for their POWERLESSNESS

In addition to these there is the lure of:

Secret Keeping Emotions

• The excitement of breaking rules
• The pleasure of indulging in what's forbidden
• The delight of not getting caught.
• Risk, from adrenaline and dopamine
• Pride, from a record of never getting caught

The above 8 factors stimulate urges to repeat Secret Keeping behaviors.

The 4 Squares of Life® helps explain the road to recovery.

Six Stages of Gaining Freedom can help you become your TrueYou.