April 2006

Secret Keepers in the News

by John Prin
Addiction Counselor
PARENTS: Is your high-schooler secretly videotaping sex acts? That's right, according to a front page article in the St. Paul Pioneer Press,* a variation of secret-keeping has surfaced at the teen level (see Category #4 of Continuum of Secrets in Stolen Hours).

A 15-year-old girl "told police an older boy secretly videotaped her performing a sex act she was forced to do and then threatened to show the tape around their high school unless she continued performing oral sex on him and other boys," states the article.

The girl suffered silently and in secret for nearly a year until she came forward and reported the abuse to a school counselor on March 7. She held back, the article reports, because she feared classmates would talk about the tape and, I presume, would label and ridicule her to the point of forcing her to switch schools.

Disturbing. Unbelievable. Shocking. That was how parents and experts were described responding to the news of the girl's allegations. While adults expressed their various views about the role of the school (the taping occurred off school grounds), haunting questions remain: Is popular culture to blame? What can be done? Will more of this kind of behavior surface?

Concluded one sexual violence expert, "Instead of focusing on the girl, on what she did wrong, let's focus on the predatory behavior of the boys." I would add, and their secret-keeping schemes and strategy!

Are you dealing with secret-keeping® issues? Whether related to sex or teens -- or not -- contact me for help. Email John Prin your thoughts.

You can also reach me at 952-941-1870 or read my books, Stolen Hours: Breaking Free From Secret Addictions. and the sequel, Secret Keeping: Overcoming Hidden Habits and Addictions.

* St. Paul Pioneer Press, March 22, 2006 p.1A